Aylmer to Zazzoo and Beyond: The Lone Ranger

Sunday, July 7, 2013

The Lone Ranger - Review

The Lone Ranger
(2013 - July 3)
Action | Adventure | Western
2 hr. 29 min.

Rated: PG-13 Sequences of intense action and violence, and some suggestive material. Common Sense Media says OK for kids 13+. Read more on child suitability
Grade: C-

Director: Gore Verbinski
Writers: Justin Haythe (screenplay), Ted Elliott (screenplay), 4 more credits »
Stars: Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer, William Fichtner | See full cast and crew

Native American spirit warrior Tonto (Johnny Depp) recounts the untold tales that transformed John Reid (Armie Hammer), a man of the law, into a legend of justice—taking the audience on a runaway train of epic surprises and humorous friction as the two unlikely heroes must learn to work together and fight against greed and corruption.

Ok, so I am not a big Johnny Depp fan and I have not seen any of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, but trust Johnny Depp to take a film about an American Icon (which he doesn't play) and make it all about him. Mr. Depp also takes this occasion to point out that he is of 'Native American' descent (of course he convienently rejects America to live in Paris, where Native American heritage is so prominent). All that being said, Johnny Depp is the best thing this film has going for it. Kudos to Disney on the clever and creative Tonto revamp, but they should have retitled this as a politically correct revisionist 'Tonto and the Lone Ranger'. This is a world where the only man with any sense is the 'noble savage'. On the plus side the film is not riddled with profane language and the Utah and New Mexico scenery is striking.

On the down side, The Lone Ranger is overly long, implausible, excessively violent with repeated references to canibleism including a scene where one of the villains cuts the heart out of dying man's chest and eats it, which would probably have Walt groaning in his grave.

The bad guys are one dimensional, the stunts lack believability, as is the geography. Armie Hammer's Lone Ranger is a bumbling inept 'do-gooder' that would never have amounted to anything without Tonto's tutelage. Tonto telling the Lone Ranger never to say "Hi-yo, Silver, away!" again sould have been amusing but with the PC bent to the film, you were waiting for it to happen, and of course the military men, businessmen, and well, almost all white men are portrayed as corrupt and evil.

For the most part the jokes fall flat, they are tired and trite. The setup of the story where a young boy meets and old Indian in a carnival sideshow tent who regales the boy with tales of his youth, the Tonto/Lone Ranger legacy, reminded me of the worst of tired formulaic Steven Spielberg dribble.

There is no chance that The Lone Ranger is going to give rise to a new era of westerns, nor do I expect that there will be a Lone Ranger 2.

If you wanted to relive the Lone Ranger glory days of your youth, this film is not going to satisfy. The Lone Ranger does have a seasoned and talented cast but it never really pays off. A little Johnny Depp goes a long way, in my view, and I reiterate he is the best thing this film has going for it.