Aylmer to Zazzoo and Beyond: After Earth

Saturday, June 1, 2013

After Earth - Review

After Earth
(2013 - May 31)
Action | Adventure | Sci-Fi
1 hr. 40 min.

Rated: PG-13 Sci-fi action violence and some disturbing images
Grade: C-

Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Writers: Gary Whitta (screenplay), M. Night Shyamalan (screenplay), Will Smith (story)
Stars: Jaden Smith, Will Smith, Sophie Okonedo | See full cast and crew

A crash landing leaves teenager Kitai Raige (Jaden Smith) and his legendary father Cypher (Will Smith) stranded on Earth, 1,000 years after cataclysmic events forced humanity's escape. With Cypher critically injured, Kitai must embark on a perilous journey to signal for help, facing uncharted terrain, evolved animal species that now rule the planet, and an unstoppable alien creature that escaped during the crash. Father and son must learn to work together and trust one another if they want any chance of returning home. (c) Sony

After Trailer/After Earth/Aftermath: After viewing the trailer for After Earth, I expected that this film would be disappointing, you know how you can sense that the preview is packed with all the best parts of the film and there isn't much beyond that left when you see the full movie...well, the extent of the disappointment was the biggest surprise. This one really is a family size turkey! This is very much a Family Affair. Will and Jada are producers for this vehicle for their little man Jaden. Who's going to tell Papa and Mama bear that something looks stupid? Apparently not director M. Night Shyamalan who seems out of his element on this one.

These magic oxygen masks have no source for the supply of oxygen.

Where to start? What is the biggest problem, the screenplay, costumes, sets, the CGI, the acting, the direction, the story (by Will Smith)? It was apparent as soon as Will Smith started his lamentable narration that this was going to be an embarrassing exercise in nepotism on a grand scale. The Smiths have created this vehicle for their son who clearly is not ready to carry the weight of a film on his shoulders. Daddy Smith narrates the film:

"We used to celebrate our planet, once a year, on Earth Day.

But one day… wasn’t enough to save it."

Oh spare me. What is this, some Earth Day after school propaganda special? Yikes! Just hit us over the head with your environmentalist agenda 2X4.

The website Filmdrunk has done a good job expressing my sentiments on After Earth's dreadful screenplay narration. You can read more at: http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2013/04/new-after-earth-clip-will-smith-dopey-voiceover#ixzz2UtXXPWre

Note the high tech seat restraints


The Ursa can't smell you in the bubble

The sets and costumes reminded me of the 'B-list' Sci-fi disasters from the 40s and 50s, very cheap looking with little relationship to functionality. The CGI and the spaceship is about as impressive as the Starship Enterprise from the original TV series. The interior seems to be made mostly of PVC pipes and draped fabrics. The acting is about on par with that same TV production as well. The acting apple didn't fall anywhere near the tree apparently, but then again this is far from Will Smith's best work either, in fact, it harkens back to the days of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

On the upside, part of After Earth was filmed here in Utah, nor is it laden with profanity, sex and nudity (which is why it was spared a 'D+' grade). It is however hokey, sappy, lame and stupid. Cypher's (Will Smith) instructions to his son, Kitai (Jaden Smith), often sound like the rules to a video game and the rest of his on screen narration sounds like a motivational seminar. Just one example of stupid, Papa Cypher tells Kitai that the planet's temperatures nightly drop to sub-freezing but there are thermal spots where he will be safe (temperature wise) until morning so he must find a thermal spot before nightfall. As night is coming on frost is forming on the forest flora i.e. ferns and other warm climate plants.

This forest is very green and lush but we must remember, as papa Cypher has said to Jaden, "Everything on this planet has evolved to kill humans." However, it seemes that the lions have actually devolved back into Saber-tooth Cats. Yes, Earth Goddess Gaia and the plants are fighting back, punishing the evil human race for global warming and destroying the planet, blah, blah, blah.

But back to the story, if it freezes every night these tropical and sub-tropical plants, now covered in frost, would not likely survive. At the very least their leaves would brown and wither when the planet warms up in the morning. This is after all, Earth, where tropical vegetation has never grown in temperate climates where it freezes in the winters. They certainly don't survive in a place that freezes nightly year in and year out.

In another instance of stupidity the mighty little Kitai is able to outrun a pack of wild baboons while daddy watches from his magic screen in the destroyed ship who's electronics still seem to work...again, not buying it.

More stupidity, early on in the film a wounded ranger who has lost a leg orders his two companions to lift him off of his stool, to help him stand on his remaining leg so that he can salute his noble superior, papa Cypher the great legendary hero and alien slayer. But this is just silly and annoying dramatics.

Wouldn't you suspect that in this future world they would have a prosthesis for amputees...after all, we have already had them for hundreds of years, a few improvements would be expected over a thousand year period. After all they have all sorts of special technology for papa Cypher's broken legs. I over heard the guy sitting behind me groaning at this one as he commented to his daughter, "You'd think they'd have come up with a prosthesis by now".

Their spaceship crashes on Earth after being damaged by asteroid debris, Cypher is sucked out of the ship when it begins to brake apart, miraculously the only survivors are daddy Cypher and son Kitai, both in the debris even though Cypher was sucked out of the ship. Cypher has multiple leg fractures so their survival is in the hands of the inexperienced Kitai, who must buck up and prove his manhood (even though men are evil planet killers but that's another story).

In the picture above, Kitai has made is big adventure packed trek to the debris of the tail end of the ship to locate a beacon that will be their only hope of survival, but there is atmospheric interference so Daddy Cypher tells him he must climb to the top of that erupting volcano in the background in order to send out the distress signal. Right! With all the lava flowing down the sides and the toxic fumes and ash.

I just didn't have the patients for this one and it does take patients, this film is only 100 minutes long but feels like 200. After Earth might be intriguing for pre-pubescent boys and die hard Will Smith fans, two things of which I am no longer, thank you very much.