Noah - Movie Review - AN EPIC FLOOD OF NONSENSE!!!

Noah
(2014- March 28)
Adventure | Drama
2 hr 17 min
Rated: PG-13 | Disturbing Images, Brief Suggestive Content and Violence Read more
Grade: D+

Director: Darren Aronofsky
Writers: Darren Aronofsky, Ari Handel
Stars: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins | See full cast and crew

With sweeping visuals grounded by strong performances in service of a timeless tale told on a human scale, Darren Aronofsky's Noah brings the Bible epic into the 21st century.

The Biblical Noah suffers visions of an apocalyptic deluge and takes measures to protect his family from the coming flood.

 AN EPIC FLOOD OF NONSENSE!!!

What was Paramount Pictures thinking when they signed on to this big budget fiasco. The say in their promos that they have taken artistic license but believe they are true to the spirit of the biblical story. They have in fact taken license but it isn't artistic and there is precious little that is true to the spirit of the biblical story. When they point out, 'May not be suitable for children under 13.' you have to be a bit skeptical.

What has happened to Russel Crowe's mind? It must have suffered permanent damage from involvement in The Man with the Iron Fists debacle from RZA. There was some evidence of damage in his tone deaf performance in Les Misérables, and Darren Aronofsky, what can be said of the mind of this darling of the Hollywood establishment but that he apparently never had a grip on his from the start. To misquote another piece of Hollywood drivel, 'You lost me at hello'.

NOAH is a 'bait and switch' fraud of BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS, tempting the moviegoer with the biblical NOAH brand only to leave them awash with a flood of environmentalist, science fiction gobbledegook using as little of the source material as is secular human(ist)ly possible. If you would like to see a Michael Bay's Transformers (pick any of them) meets Cecil B. DeMille's The Ten Commandments meets Joseph Ruben's The Stepfather then NOAH may be right up your alley.

The only reason this film gets a Grade D+ and not lower is because of it's production values i.e. the sets, costumes, special effects etc. and the acting is serviceable. 

Even if they had marketed this film as strictly a Sci-Fi fantasy and they abandoned the ties to the bible and changed the names of the characters it would still be worthy of no more than a C-, and would still not even be on par with John Carter. This production of NOAH is a waste of time, money, resources, talent and braincells

 

 

On the set

 

Cast

    Russell Crowe        Jennifer Connelly  

 Noah                             Naameh

   Anthony Hopkins       Logan Lerman     

   Methuselah                           Ham          

    Douglas Booth         Emma Watson  

    Shem                                    Ila      

Ray Winstone

Tubal-cain 

Mr. Peabody & Sherman - Movie Review

Mr. Peabody & Sherman
(2014 - March 7)
Animation | Adventure | Comedy
1 hr. 32 min.
Rated: PG  | Brief Rude Humor and Some Mild Action

Grade: C+

Director: Rob Minkoff
Writers: Jay Ward (based on the series produced by), Craig Wright (screenplay), 3 more credits
Stars: Ty Burrell, Max Charles, Stephen Colbert | See full cast and crew

Mr. Peabody (Ty Burrell), the most accomplished canine in the world, and his boy, Sherman (Max Charles), use a time machine called the Wabac to embark on outrageous adventures. However, when Sherman takes the Wabac without permission to impress his friend Penny (Ariel Winter), he accidentally rips a hole in the universe and causes havoc with world history. It's up to Mr. Peabody to mount a rescue and prevent the past, present and future from being permanently altered.

Mr. Peabody & Sherman arrived in theaters not quite  via the 'way back' but indeed with high expectations for oldsters that grew up on the original Jay Ward cartoons from the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show of the late 50s and 60s. 

Unfortunately the remake is rather bland and lacks the freshness of the original TV series. It's not that it's a horrible animated film, it's just not an exceptional film. There have been so many animated films as of late and they are all pretty much on the same level, serviceable and perhaps entertaining for the kids but not so much for the parents who take them. I saw the 3D version and wouldn't recommend it, it has little to add to the experience, just a way for the studio to charge more for the tickets.

Mr. Peabody & Sherman's animation harkens back to the paintings of banal big eyed waifs of the 60s. There are Lots of celebrities who voices lend their talents to the story, Patrick Warburton, Stanley Tucci, Stephen Colbert (to name just a few),  which might be enough to hold the interest of some viewers but it wasn't enough to win me over. It lacks the simple charm of the original. The screenplay could have benefited from more puns and a little less of the convoluted story line.

Like a lot of the current wave of animated films it feels like it was made solely for the purpose of raking in some cash from the built in audience of nostalgia driven parents and the introduction of some new cartoon characters for the wee ones but in the end there isn't enough charm or double entandre humor in the puns to do justice to the original material. There is some mildly rude humor but nothing raunchy and no profanity so it is safe for viewing with the entire family.

Cast

 

Ty Burrell             Max Charles             Ariel Winter

   Mr. Peabody                     Sherman                       Penny Peterson