Noah(2014- March 28)
Adventure | Drama
2 hr 17 min
Rated: PG-13 | Disturbing Images, Brief Suggestive Content and Violence Read more
Grade: D+
Director: Darren Aronofsky
Writers: Darren Aronofsky, Ari Handel
Stars: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins | See full cast and crew
With sweeping visuals grounded by strong performances in service of a timeless tale told on a human scale, Darren Aronofsky's Noah brings the Bible epic into the 21st century.
The Biblical Noah suffers visions of an apocalyptic deluge and takes measures to protect his family from the coming flood.
AN EPIC FLOOD OF NONSENSE!!!
What
was Paramount Pictures thinking when they signed on to this big budget
fiasco. The say in their promos that they have taken artistic license
but believe they are true to the spirit of the biblical story. They have
in fact taken license but it isn't artistic and there is precious
little that is true to the spirit of the biblical story. When they point
out, 'May not be suitable for children under 13.' you have to be a bit skeptical.
What has happened to Russel Crowe's mind? It must have suffered permanent damage from involvement in The Man with the Iron Fists
debacle from RZA. There was some evidence of damage in his tone deaf performance in Les Misérables, and Darren Aronofsky, what can be said of the mind of this darling of the
Hollywood establishment but that he apparently never had a grip on his
from the start. To misquote another piece of Hollywood drivel, 'You lost me at hello'.
NOAH
is a 'bait and switch' fraud of BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS, tempting the
moviegoer with the biblical NOAH brand only to leave them awash with a
flood of environmentalist, science fiction gobbledegook using as little
of the source material as is secular human(ist)ly possible. If you would
like to see a Michael Bay's Transformers (pick any of them) meets Cecil B. DeMille's The Ten Commandments meets Joseph Ruben's The Stepfather then NOAH may be right up your alley.
The
only reason this film gets a Grade D+ and not lower is because of it's
production values i.e. the sets, costumes, special effects etc. and the
acting is serviceable. 
Even if they had marketed this film as strictly a Sci-Fi fantasy and they abandoned the ties to the bible and changed the names of
the characters it would still be worthy of no more than a C-, and would
still not even be on par with John Carter. This production of NOAH is a waste of time, money, resources, talent and braincells
On the set
Cast
Noah Naameh
Methuselah Ham
Shem Ila
Tubal-cain
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