Aylmer to Zazzoo and Beyond: March 2013

G.I. Joe: Retaliation
(2013 - March 29)
Action | Adventure | Sci-Fi
1 hr. 40 min.

Rated: PG-13 Intense sequences of combat violence, brief sensuality, language and martial arts action. Common Sense Media says OK for kids 13+ Read more
Grade: C-

Director: Jon M. Chu

Writers: Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick

Stars: Dwayne Johnson, D.J. Cotrona, Channing Tatum | See full cast and crew

In the continuing adventures of the G.I. Joe team, Duke (Channing Tatum), second-in-command Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson), and the rest of the Joes (D.J. Cotrona, Byung-hun Lee) face a two-fold threat. Not only is their mortal enemy COBRA rearing its ugly head again, but there is also a threat from within the U.S. government: There might be an impostor in the White House. Meanwhile, Snake Eyes (Ray Park) is on a search for inner peace but learns that his nemesis, Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee), is still alive.

It's going to be a rough time in Washington D.C. this year. The White House is under siege again, there was the recent Olympus Has Fallen, now G.I. Joe: Retaliation, and the upcoming White House Down (and of course that doesn't even include the present occupant).

I just had a very hard time getting interested in this one. Five minutes into it and I was thinking, if I were at home and this was on TV I would have already switched channels. Lucky for Channing Tatum, he gets to exit the film early on, I suspected that he would somehow make a return before the end of the film but no, he was gone for good. Too bad I had to sit through the entire film to verify that fact.

I wasn't (and I still am not) familiar with all the G.I. Joe characters and I had difficulty following the story, who are the good guys, who are the bad guys, who honestly cares? I'm cognoscente that my apathy contributed to my inability to learn the players and follow the story but, suffice it to say, this was not the movie for me.

I never owned a G.I. Joe doll, er...action figure, I never had the G.I. Joe fever.

The scenes in the mountains with people flying around and fighting on zip lines was so ludicrous that I had to leave briefly for a popcorn refill. I am also put off by the lack of value placed on human life in this type of film.

The good guy's lives are highly valued and worthy of extracting revenge but the bad guy's lives (and very often innocent bystanders) are nothing more than fodder like in a video game.

If you are in to the G.I. Joe characters and stories you may enjoy this film but I don't think it contains that much interest for those who aren't. The production values are good, the script is weak and formulaic, the acting is nothing to write home about so don't expect any Oscar nominations.

There is a lot of martial arts action (if you like to see people fighting and doing impossible things), lots of guns going bang bang and lots of things blowing up as is standard fair for this type of film

I did cut this movie some slack for exercising restraint when it came to the use of profanity, also there was no sex and no nudity, save a couple of bare chested men and the distorted reflection of the backside of a woman while changing her clothes.